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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25646098">A Butterfly's Wings Should Not Be Touched.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Music_compass/pseuds/Music_compass'>Music_compass</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Also future Kuroo/Hinata, Also this first started out as a "Kenma has depression" kinda thing, And Kags; Hoshiumi; Lev; and Inuoka are only mentioned lol, And it kinda doesn't happen in this universe., And it's kinda weird but..., Fluffy?, It's like... implied?, M/M, Now it uh..., Orange AU, Please enjoy XDD, Please watch Orange or read it it's so good and I, Sounds weird lolol but hear me out., i know it says major character death but, oh yeah uh mentioned sugamama</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 12:15:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,118</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25646098</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Music_compass/pseuds/Music_compass</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>In the far future, Kenma is found dead--the cause being suicide. Tetsurou and the rest of Nekoma, along with Kei, Koutarou and Keiji decided to dig up their old time capsule that had been buried next to the third gym, hoping to correct their mistake.</p>
<p>In another realm, Kenma is alone within his apartment that was supposed to be shared with Shouyou--burdened with the grief that he let his underclassman travel by train alone, five years ago. He sends out a bottled message into the cold ocean in the anniversary of his significant other's death.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou/Kozume Kenma, Kuroo Tetsurou/Sawamura Daichi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>15</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Train Wheel. (Prologue.)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>His heart pounded at the bottom of his chest as he quickly and desperately made a mad dash to the train station, hoping to book one to Tokyo. Even with shaking hands and sore legs from post-training, he managed to maintain his flip-phone from falling out of his hands out of pure fear.</p>
<p>   He can’t lose a friend.</p>
<p>   Not now. </p>
<p>   Not ever.</p>
<p>   “Kenma, whatever you do—don’t hang up!” He cried, wiping tears away with his unoccupied hand; the rest froze in the cold wind, shards of harsh gale scraping against his face.</p>
<p>   “Not like there’s anything else I’d be doing.” The upperclassman hummed quietly, “Besides playing something, but...”<br/>
“Good, good!” The younger interrupted, “Just don’t do anythin’ else!”<br/>
“Why? I just told you I wouldn’t.” Sounds of Kenma flipping open a device could be heard over the phone. “What’re you doing—and are you crying?”<br/>
“Just don’t go anywhere!”<br/>
“Shouyou?”<br/>
“Please!”<br/>
“...”</p>
<p>   Kenma sighed, then flipping the device closed, unable to find a reason to open it. His hands instead fiddled with his hair, making his way to his desk.<br/>
“I promise. Just tell me why you’re calling.”</p>
<p>   “That’s not all I’m gonna tell you!”</p>
<p>   A small smile graced the indifferent male’s lips, while his eyes squinted to let something trickle down.<br/>
“Alright.” He whispered. “What’s up, then?”</p>
<p>   “Well—“ Shouyou started...</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Left on the Blackboard.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shouyou is told what happens in the future, and everyone pitches in to help... </p><p>But it's up to him to really hold Kenma together.</p><p>Tetsurou also has some regrets.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“What?!” The orange-haired athlete yelled in response to the captain of Nekoma’s volleyball team and the head of his own team cornering him after a long day of training together.<br/>   “Shh.” Daichi pursed his lips, “It’s not so clear when, but...”</p><p>   “Yeah, I’m sure of it.” Tetsurou bit his lip and scrunched his nose, “He always used to get sick often but, uh... I think even this is a little too much for him.”</p><p>   The more generic captain put a hand on his younger teammate’s shoulder and sighed. <br/>   “I know you’re going to email him later, but just be careful with it. You know he isn’t much for conversation.”</p><p>   The petite high-schooler furrowed his brows. </p><p>   “How do y’know if it’s really gonna happen...?” He asked in a low tone to the taller captain.</p><p>   Said captain sighed, shrugging. “You wouldn’t believe me, even if I said. Just know it will.”</p><p>   “It doesn’t make sense!” Shouyou jumped, nearly hitting against the ceiling, “Kenma wouldn’t...”</p><p>   “I’ll try whatever I can to stop him. I’ve told Inuoka, too. Just...” Tetsurou started to to turn his back on the two crows, tenderly grabbing Daichi’s shoulder as he left, “...Don’t let him die.”</p><p>   The first-year was left in the corner of the gym; the last to turn off the lights. <br/>   “I won’t.” He quietly responded to himself, managing to catch up to—surprisingly—Kei, who was waiting along the wall of their practicing location.</p><p>   “Tsukishima?” The older of the current two inquired, “What’re you doing here?”</p><p>   “Waiting for you.” He huffed, and Shouyou followed in mirroring the disgruntled action.</p><p>   “You didn’t have to.” The shorter whispered off to the side.<br/>   “Well, too bad.” His teammate scoffed, “Kuroo said that you’d believe me if I said anything, so... here we are.”</p><p>   “Not anything! You could be lying to me!”<br/>   “You’d honestly think I’d lie about an upperclassman’s death? Could you think for once?”<br/>   “But...”<br/>   Kei grumbled, gripping Shouyou’s wrist and knowingly walking into the dark to move their sensitive conversation into an unseen location.</p><p>   The night was already stressful enough, but having Kenma here would’ve been harder.</p><p>   “Kozume’s going to hang himself.” Kei bluntly stated, pushing the older first-year against the bark of a tree, “—And he’s going to do it in four months. We’ve all gotten letters from somewhere—All of us except for you, the King, and Yachi, because even the future knows it’s bad to give you guys any surprising information.” He scoffed again, and suddenly covered the shorter of the monster duo’s mouth.<br/>   “Even I can’t believe it at times, but... I know that they’re all meant for you. And I hate it.”</p><p>   Shouyou attempted to pull off Kei’s hand, but only could make a noise out of confusion as to why. He was lucky that the smarter of the two could understand.</p><p>   “They’re all from Kuroo—and he knew that Kozume...” The blond stopped to click his tongue before continuing, “...Had a thing for you.”</p><p>   Shouyou’s heart stopped. Kenma? Having a crush on him? He couldn’t believe it—nor did he want to. He always thought that Kenma was as conservative as he was socially inept—sure, he kept to himself, but... even having a flicker of a feeling for someone? And it isn’t even on his own team...</p><p>   “As disgusting as it is that he likes you... I can’t blame him. Just... take it to heart, will you? Someone’s life in on the line.”<br/>   He took off his hand from the shocked crow’s mouth and wiped it on his pants, then turned away.</p><p>   “B-but—! What’m I supposed to do?!”</p><p>   “That’s up to you. You’re not alone, but it’s really only you that can save him.”</p><p>   ...That night, Shouyou could do nothing. He slept as much as he stopped thinking about Kenma—which wasn’t often. He kept a heavy grip on his phone at all hours of the night, ready to call whenever his heart could slow down.<br/>   ...It never happened; he waited, but the tempo never backed up. He ended up going for a run, only for the thoughts to keep up, no matter how fast he would run. Despite how hard he breathed, the one thought he could hear was about Kenma’s death.<br/>   Why? Why him? Of course, it wasn’t a problem—all he had to do was stop it, right? Right! <br/>   ...He’s never had this much weight on him. Sure, he wasn’t alone in keeping the heart and brain of Nekoma alive, but... it felt like it all boiled down to him—which it did. He had to singlehandedly have a firm grip on someone’s life—because he’d figured that no one else would have as strong a hold as he would.<br/>   ...Hey, wait.</p><p>   Kenma was always quiet and kept to himself, but he was never known to have depression. Sure, he was shy; sure, he was anti-social. No, he wasn’t depressive... at least, no one knew him to be. So... why now? Was he just that good at hiding it?</p><p>   ...Or.</p><p>   In December, it would almost be time-up with his moments with Tetsurou in high. Four months after that, and the bed-headed captain and best friend would leave him behind to carry the team. And—it’s not like he hadn’t been through it before; junior high was a stressful time for him, but it was never too much. Was high school causing that much stress to the second year?</p><p>   ...Nah, couldn’t be. Kenma was emotionally a wall. Not a lot could hurt him.</p><p>   Maybe it was his crush on Shouyou? Was it too emotionally a strain on him?</p><p>   ...Four months have passed, and Shouyou has gotten half the things he’s wanted to say to Kenma.</p><p>   Truthfully, he’s gotten a rather strange email from both Tetsurou and Kei about Kenma’s feelings towards him—one that states that his love for the tangerine-haired crow was enough to destroy his mental health.</p><p>   Why?</p><p>   ...Apparently, Shouyou began to date someone, and told Kenma all about it, not knowing how the older student felt. <br/>   After he knew that Tetsurou would leave him behind, and then one of his other best friends did... Supposedly the build up of pressure and changing relationships had driven him to the edge—as if he was fighting alone when there was no fight to protect himself against.</p><p>   Shouyou promised to not let that happen to the rather unsung hero of Nekoma—even as time goes on, he feels as if the same outcome will never happen. Whatever steps he seems to be taking, it all was pointing to the right direction. </p><p>   Except.</p><p>   What did he feel for Kenma, exactly…? It wasn’t that he didn’t like him—it was the exact opposite. But… with the way things are going right now, he’d think that Kenma and Tetsurou were closer to getting together. Sure, they were childhood friends and had longer time to be with one another, but when it came to comforting a sick and a generally in-pain Kenma, you’d assume that he’d at least tell Shouyou whenever something came up.<br/>   Instead, it was Tetsurou who told Shouyou to give the calico a call, in case anything happened.</p><p>   It seemed like nothing would change in Kenma’s behavior of telling people anything. However, it would all have to come down to the shortest member of Karasuno to keep up with Kenma’s life, and have a hold of his back if anything even remotely different happened in it.</p><p>   This gave him a short-lived thought.</p><p>   “Oh yeah, hey, Kuroo,” He called the captain of his rival school one evening, “there’s somethin’ I’ve been wantin’ to know for a while, now. Do you know who I ended up with in the future? Y’know, the person that made Kenma… y’know…”</p><p>   A brief fit of mischievous laughter took over the attacker from Tokyo; soon after, however, there was a bit of silence in between the question and the answer—enough to frighten Shouyou.</p><p>   “Yeah, uh…” Tetsurou responded quietly, “I don’t think you’ll like it.”</p><p>   “So what? It’s not like I’ll get with ‘em now.”</p><p>   “You sure? No one said you had to get with Kenma.”</p><p>   “Yeah, but… What if I want to? Hey, that isn’t the point!” Shouyou felt his face heat up. “Just tell me who it is!”</p><p>   “Okay, okay, Shrimpy.” Tetsurou clicked his tongue, seemingly inhaling some sort of scent from the other side of the line. His hands graced his notebook, littered with stickers of cats, chemistry notes, and pages were held with the many letters he’s received from himself, five years into the future. They smelled of hibiscus and had flattened flowers attached to the notes.<br/>   Some of the notes were lined with hearts in orange ink. Some hid coffee stains. Some were laced with perfume. Some… occasional sticky-notes covered the bottom of the page, signed with a love-injected footnote of being careful to not let the electricity run itself dry. All of the afterthoughts were seemingly written by Shouyou himself—a pro player for the Japan olympic team.</p><p>   “It’s me.”</p><p>   “What—?!” Shouyou’s voice nearly faded out from the cutting of the audio. “You’re kidding!”</p><p>   “I… I’m not. Apparently, future me and future you have… well… a future together.” The older student chuckled in a bit of a somber tone. “I bet they were happy, huh?”</p><p>   “Woah…” The younger of the two lost the trail of words he had set up for a response. “Yeah… I guess they would be.”</p><p>   “But…” Tetsurou’s pitch heightened, holding back a stinging that pricked the back of his throat. “This isn’t about me. You should just focus on Kenma for now, yeah? It’s almost time for him to go. Please…”</p><p>   “Yeah! I’ll save ‘em, Kuroo!” </p><p>   “I know you will, boy.”</p><p>   “G’night!”</p><p>   “Goodnight, Shrimpy.”</p><p>   …And with a click, their conversation ended; allowing for Tetsurou to bury himself in his own hands that filled with bottled up affection. The color of his tears appeared orange in the dim light of his room—the only thing that lit the space was a desk lamp and his own phone. Part of him regretted being with Daichi, but it was better than letting his best friend and one-sided love go to waste. Besides, who said he didn’t love the caption of the Flightless Crows? …No one, really, but it seemed like his heart was telling him as such.</p><p>   “God…” He whispered, cursing himself. If only he hadn’t read those letters—but, keeping Kenma alive was the most important thing to him, and if he had to give up his high-school-sweetheart for that… He would. No one ever told him that it would be this hard; not even his future self. He must be happy.</p><p>   They must be living as a rather strange couple—with him doing most of the cleaning when time came around, and cooking for the two of them—though, that wouldn’t stop Shouyou from attempting to cook and making a mess of things. He’d be the one buying food for their three cats, a parakeet, and probably a miniature poodle. Their living space must be large, with hardwood floors in the main room and hallway, but tile in the dining room, kitchen, and bathroom. They’d share a bedroom and sleep in a rather large bed together, even when they’d argue.<br/>   Actually, especially when they’d argue, they’d sleep especially close, even if Tetsurou liked his space by himself. He always would be dragged back into Shouyou’s fibrous arms and held tightly, as if they were saying goodbye. They’d both cry for two hours, make up, and probably sleep at 3 AM, wrapped around each others’ fingers.<br/>   Shouyou would better his handwriting to make notes legible and to make sure Tetsurou doesn’t light the dining room on fire before he, too, leaves for work. They’d never meet up at mornings, and Shouyou would kiss Tetsurou right when he would go to leave for practice; Tetsurou would always wake up an hour after Shouyou, but they would somehow manage to come home together. …Actually, Tetsurou would probably wait by Shouyou’s practice area at a nearby restaurant for an hour or two so they can catch the train together.<br/>   They’d never wear their rings or make their relationship public, but Tetsurou can’t help but wear the shimmering gold at official matches, devilishly smiling at his ray of sunshine that’ll inevitably break the world with his sound-shattering spikes. Everyone would ask who the lucky girl is, but he’d say that the lucky girl is himself. He likes to keep inching hints towards his answer, but no one would understand—not even Shouyou, making the rouse more believable.<br/>   Even while writing these letters to his past self and sending them across the ocean, he’d hold Shouyou’s hand in his own, asking: “If Kenma never died, would you still be with me?”<br/>   To which Shouyou would answer with a hearty laugh and a tight embrace: “Duh! I was so happy that you’d ask me out that I’d start cryin’ uncontrollably at nights.”<br/>   And they would sit together at the end of the shore, cackling—howling, and making stupid jokes, all the while the two of them regretted letting Kenma die.<br/>   …Even with this outlandish tale that Tetsurou wish was real, he knew that; in another future, this was how they’d live, even with Kenma alive. No regrets--just enjoying life. Perhaps they’d even adopt a couple of children when Shouyou would get a severe injury and would have to be forced to rest for a few months by everyone on the team—especially Tobio and Kourai.<br/>   They’d both agree on three children—two girls and one boy. Perhaps they’d carry the legacy of carrying the “Hinata” name, athletic, energetic, friendly, and high-jumping—or maybe the “Kuroo” name of being extremely good at chemistry. Maybe they’d carve their own destinies, and make themselves a legacy to look up to and pass down to their own children—something that their fathers couldn’t do.<br/>   …Perhaps they could artificially make children with their genes, passing their flowing blood into a bearer, and having that be their child. They’d never remember what the process is called, and would have to look it up every time they converse about it.</p><p>   …Tetsurou couldn’t sleep that night, and instead contacted Koutarou, for fear that if he called Daichi at 2 AM, his head would be off the next time they’d see one another. Thankfully, that wouldn’t be for a while, but the looming fact that it would still happen was a bit… frightening.</p><p>   After Shouyou closed his own device, he collapsed onto his bed and yelled into a pillow out of embarrassment and anger.<br/>   “I’m with Kuroo?!” He screamed, gripping the underside of the mattress. It made sense in Kenma’s stead—but in Shouyou’s own? Why would he end up with someone like Tetsurou? More like—how? He couldn’t possibly find a way to get with the mysterious, strange man, even if he tried. There was no reason to—even if he genuinely liked him. No one would expect it, so it wasn’t like someone was helping the two get together.</p><p>   Shouyou shook off his thoughts and tried to sleep.</p><p>   …He forgot to brush his teeth.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Vending Machine at the Station.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Have you ever wanted to... erm... Kill y’self?”</p><p>“Shouyou! Don’t ask that...”</p><p>“I’m just asking...”</p><p>“You’re scaring me...”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“You can’t just ask someone that... I mean, I’ve had moments where I’ve gotten too tired during practice and ‘wanted to die’ but... actually killing myself...? Never has that thought hit me before...”</p><p>“Good.”</p><p>“Why? Don’t tell me you’ve...”</p><p>“Wh-what? No! I was just askin’ you.”</p><p>“Oh. ...Shouyou?”</p><p>“Yeah?”</p><p>“Please don’t ask that ever again. I was so scared.”</p><p>“What? Why?”</p><p>“It’s a sensitive topic and I thought that... you were the one that wanted to...”</p><p>“No! I’d never do that!”</p><p>“Good. ...And, Shouyou?”</p><p>“Hm?”</p><p>“...Please don’t leave me behind...”</p><p>“I won’t! Besides... I have someone I wanna protect!”</p><p>“Oh...”</p><p>“What?”</p><p>“You know, Kuro said that Tsukishima likes you.”</p><p>“Pffft! No! He hates me! He even pushed me against a tree and covered my mouth!”</p><p>“‘Pushed you against a tree’...? Shouyou, I think—“</p><p>“Nah, I know when he’s lyin’! Stingyshima would never like me, and I hate him, too!”</p><p>“Then, do you have someone you like?”</p><p>“Yeah! It’s—wait, I’ll tell you when I get there!”</p><p>“Huh... you’re that close?”</p><p>“Nope! But I do know something you don’t! Well, I’m sure you know, buuuuut...”</p><p>“Oh, okay... just… don’t ring the doorbell or knock on my door. I don’t want my parents waking up.”</p><p>“‘Kay!”</p><p>“I could always just stand outside—“</p><p>“No! Don’t move!”</p><p>“Oh. Do I need to get changed, though?”</p><p>“Mmm... nah! But put on some socks! I wanna take you somewhere.”</p><p>“Shouyou...”</p><p>“So just… promise to not go anywhere, even if I’m not talkin’! I’ll be on a Romancecar in a bit, we can talk there!”</p><p>“Okay.”</p><p>“…You do know that we can email each other, right?”</p><p>“No! Then I can’t tell where you are and what you’re doin’!”</p><p>“Do you need to?”</p><p>“Yeah.”</p><p>“…What’s this all about?”</p><p>“I’ll tell ya when I get there! Oh, uh, it’s time to be quiet.”</p><p>“Okay…”</p><p>What was going on? Kenma had no clue what to do, and he was no idea why Shouyou was calling this early in the morning—on a weekend. Christmas was coming up, and he had no other plans than to spend time with Tetsurou and the rest of Nekoma’s volleyball team, so this was simultaneously a setback and a nice breather to get away from them.<br/>Why this early, though? He told Shouyou that their time-zones were off a couple of hours, even being in as small a country such as Japan. Was it normal for the small middle blocker to forget? Sure. But this seemed urgent, and Kenma wasn’t one to mess with something as seemingly nerve-wracking as this. Hearing Shouyou rush was even transferring to Kenma himself, making him occasionally grasp onto his hoodie to calm himself down. He had no water bottle in his room, and was not in the mood to grab water from downstairs, so he decided to keep to himself and feel his mouth dry as he heard the clacking of the trains.</p><p>He flipped through his own notebook, looking to distract himself while the underclassman on the other end couldn’t speak. He ended up looking through a small bit of notes, with a piece of mail stuck in between them. He didn’t recognize it, so he figured that his mother had placed it there for him the other day. The envelope smelled awfully like the beach, and had a red stain at the left corner of it, supposedly from a watermelon.<br/>It looked suspiciously new—modern. He opened it, setting his phone gently on the desk. Struggling with it, he had to aggressively tear it with a mechanical pencil, unable to find a pair of scissors fast enough to let his mind settle.<br/>Unfolding it was another adventure he couldn’t wait to get over with. A citric scent overwhelmed him, feeling both nostalgic and saddening at the same time.</p><p>“What…” He whispered, making sure that Shouyou couldn’t hear him.</p><p>The wording was in a nearly identical handwriting to Kenma’s own, but neater, and nicely lined with the dots on the stationary. Silently, he read.</p><p>
  <em>Hey, past me. Merry Christmas, or something.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>…You know what? No. I’m not going to sugarcoat this.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>This is your fault.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I don’t care if you never see this. I don’t care if this never gets sent to you—I need to get this out.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It’s almost Christmas—a few days before, actually—and Shouyou was supposed to get here. You know, your house?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You told him to meet you before the day actually started—like, at 5 AM or something? And, knowing that he’s in Miyagi, it took like a couple of hours to get there. That’s not the problem.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>The problem is that you let him die.</em>
</p><p>Kenma’s eyes widened, flipping to the next few pages that he didn’t realize the envelope held. He turned the first page to the back and continued to read in disbelief.</p><p>
  <em>How could you?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You’re awful.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Why did you let him come on his own? Couldn’t you have met him halfway? Waited for him at the station?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>No. You’re a piece of shit, Kenma Kozume.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>It’s been five years since then.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>He was born to be a professional volleyball player.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You’re selfish.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You better hope that in his next life, he’ll forgive you.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>You better hope that he’ll still love you.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Even then, stay away from him.</em>
</p><p>Second page.</p><p>
  <em>You can’t possibly think that you deserve to be with him after everything you’ve done.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Because of you…</em>
</p><p>
  <em>No, because of me.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I’m sorry.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>I’m such a fool.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can’t believe I let this happen.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>He’s always told me that he…</em>
</p><p>Back of the second page.</p><p>
  <em>…felt like he was lost in the world, and was being left behind.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>So why did I let him travel by himself?</em>
  <br/>
  <em><strike>You</strike> I was an awful upperclassman.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can’t…</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I forgotten how to write, haha.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>…This isn’t funny.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>I can barely see what I’m writing.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>God… Just bring him back, even if he can’t be with me.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Even if he ends up with someone like Lev or something.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>…Ew. Even still. I’d like him to be come back. Maybe we can be reborn as twins?</em>
  <br/>
  <em>…No, there’s no way that God—whatever’s out there—will allow me that happiness.</em>
</p><p>Third page.</p><p>
  <em>I just hope you treasure him as much as I wanted to.</em>
  <br/>
  <em>That sunlight I can no longer see…</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Please, please, please…</em>
  <br/>
  <em>Save him.</em>
</p><p>
  <em>—Kenma.</em>
</p><p>…There’s no way. After all of that, there’s no way that Shouyou asked that for no reason; <em>“Have you ever wanted to... erm... Kill y’self?”</em></p><p><em>“Don’t move”</em>? No. There was no way that he was going to listen to that.</p><p>Kenma threw on his jacket, put on the socks as Shouyou told him to, grabbed the letters, and bounded for the door. …Forgetting his phone that was still in a call.</p><p>Rushing to get his shoes on, he had forgotten how cold December was in the morning—but that hardly mattered. Snow or no snow, he made sure to meet Shouyou at the station, no matter how long it took.<br/>Considering that he took his letters with him, the wait wasn’t as long as he would’ve thought—but it was at least a few hours; even coming from Yokohama, the ride to Tokyo would’ve been around three hours.</p><p>. . .</p><p>“K-Kenma?!”</p><p>“Mmh…” The cat wiped his eyes, “Yeah…?”</p><p>“Kenma! I told you not to move! I thought… I mean, you weren’t answering your phone so I thought…”</p><p>The petite future ace had then started to embrace his upperclassman, tightly holding him and slowly moving to sit down on the bench that Kenma doesn’t remember sitting on.</p><p>Kenma began to wrap his arms around Shouyou, strangely both panicked with the sudden hug, and relieved that he made it here safely. It only took him a few minutes before he began to realize that his underclassman was weeping into his shoulder.</p><p>“Shouyou…?” He asked, ruffling the younger’s hair, “Why’re you crying again?”</p><p>“I told you!” Said younger responded, not releasing the pressure in his arms, “You weren’t responding on the phone so I just… y’know… thought the worst.”<br/>“Why? Is it the conversation we had before? I told you, I’d never do anything like that.” Kenma then sighed, “You should worry more about yourself.”<br/>“Why me?”<br/>“I know you said that you’d never kill yourself, but… I was just… worried you wouldn’t get here intact. Or at all.”<br/>“What? You don’t trust me?”<br/>“I do, but…”<br/>“Hey, you also get letters? I thought you died!”</p><p>Shouyou yanked the letters that have found themself under Kenma’s leg, and released him from the hug.</p><p>“‘Died’…?” The blond somewhat managed to repeat out of shock, “Wait, how are you getting letters? I thought you also…”</p><p>“Wh—what?”</p><p>“So, we both had different outcomes? What’s going on?”</p><p>“Yeah, I just… I dunno.” Shouyou swung his legs that didn’t touch the concrete of the station floor. “I mean, I never got letters, but… Kuroo, Inuoka, Tsukishima, Bokuto, and Akaashi all told me about what to do to keep you from dyin’. Can y’believe that I was supposed to end up with Kuroo in that future? Jeez, I can’t even think ‘bout how that’ll go…”</p><p>“Oh, speaking of that.”</p><p>Kenma sighed, taking the letters back from his friend and fiddling with them, himself. “You’re going to tell me who you like, right?” He then gave a smug grin to the shorter male, causing a red hue to show up around his cheeks—which wasn’t just due to the bitter cold.</p><p>“Wh—why now?” The sunrise matched perfectly with the first-year’s expression, “Can’t we move somewhere else, first?”</p><p>“No, it’s dangerous. Besides, I don’t want to move. Maybe later.” The snow began to fall. “Tell me, Shouyou. You said you knew something I didn’t?”</p><p>“I mean…” Tangerine began to flutter into the younger student’s eyes, reflecting from his opposer’s hair. “Yeah, but… You should probably know…”</p><p>“Then tell me.”</p><p>“Meanie, you probably already know, don’t you?”</p><p>“You’d delay telling me who you like for hours so you can tell me in person? I’m sure I have an idea.”</p><p>Shouyou huffed and rested his face upon Kenma’s shoulder.</p><p>“You’re right…” The sheer volume of hair from the freshman tickled the junior’s neck, making him laugh.</p><p>“Then, what did you know that I didn’t?”</p><p>“I told you, you knew!”</p><p>“What was it, though?”</p><p>“…That you liked me.”</p><p>“I guess that’ll never change, no matter what future lies ahead.”</p><p>“Was I right?”</p><p>“You mean to say that you were so confident without even knowing?”</p><p>“Well, I just guessed that… since that’s what killed you…”</p><p>“I mean, you guessed ri—wait, it killed me?”</p><p>Shouyou tightly held Kenma’s waist, timing it as the snow started to fall in much more quantity. The receiving end of the affection held the arms that acted as a belt around him, melting into his hoodie as the strength refused to let up.</p><p>“Yeah… Y’know how I said I got with Kuroo?”<br/>“Uh-huh.”<br/>“Apparently I told you ‘bout it, and… y’didn’t like it all too much.”<br/>“Of course.”<br/>“It was enough to drive you over the edge, I guess.”<br/>“Oh.”<br/>“With all the talk of Kuroo leavin’ you next year, and me gettin’ with him…”<br/>“Got it.”<br/>“Mm—ah.”</p><p>There was a moment of silence—supposedly meant for the Kenma of five years ahead. The two then drank in the view that surrounded them; with a slow piling of snow that started to cover bushes that walled around the station platform and stairs, completed with only the highlight of the two volleyball players who sat closely on a bench outside a station booth that sold yakitori.<br/>They could barely see the outdoors, but could feel the cold that came with the season that would only be associated with Christmas.</p><p>Shouyou suddenly then slowly grasped at Kenma’s hand, who took it back with the reflexes of a snake.</p><p>“Hey—! Don’t do that!” The junior hissed. “What if people see?”<br/>“What? But the huggin’ ’n confessin’ was okay?!” The freshman bit back, “We’re in Tokyo, no one cares! No one’s gonna look at us!”<br/>“They will if you keep arguing with me!”<br/>“That’s not fair! You’re my upperclassman!”<br/>“I don’t care about that and you know it. Let’s just move to somewhere else, if you’re going to do that, please.”</p><p>The childlike high-schooler annoyedly sighed, but happily rebounded and forced the lethargic gamer to stand. The sunlight smile of the young crow was enough to make the tired cat follow under his wings.</p><p>They both made the decision to pause when they came across a park, rather empty of visitors and only lit by a few street-lamps. Wordlessly, they managed to sit down on a wooden log that acted as a makeshift, yet decorative bench. It was cold, but not much snow had formed on it yet, and was dry enough to not make an embarrassing mark after standing up from it.<br/>Despite moving to be able to hold hands without repercussions or anyone looking at them, the unlikely pair sat in silence with one another; Kenma messed with his letters once more, denying the future that had been possibly opened for him. In another world, he probably refused to believe the fact so much that Shouyou truly did…</p><p>He refused to think about it.</p><p>In another world, Shouyou apparently started dating Tetsurou.</p><p>He refused to think about that, too.</p><p>Even so, he began to wonder about the future—one where he is with Shouyou, no matter what happens, even if Tetsurou detests it, or the world doesn’t want them together. For once in Kenma’s life, he would fight the entire world for someone out of spite.<br/>While fidgeting with the crumpled stationary, he began to imagine the different outcomes that would come with this action he was taking. Surely this would turn out to be a good end? But he was unsure. It was like choosing what options to say and do in a dating visual novel—he could usually scope out what steps to take to make decent ending with his chosen partner, but couldn’t figure out if the ending was the absolute best one or not. He just had to make sure that both him and Shouyou would end up happy together, even when they move on with high school.</p><p>…Not that it was all that difficult. Making Shouyou happy took little-to-no effort, and making him happy always infected into Kenma himself, and the cycle would continue until Lev or Tetsurou broke them up for food. He did wonder if Shouyou was just trying to make him happy by acting like he was interested, however, and that often worried him. Even if it was nowhere close to being true, he did feel like a nuisance, sometimes. Despite the worry, being with Shouyou was enough to give him the strength to keep trying his best.</p><p>Kenma sighed and looked up to examine the frosted tree that stood right in the middle of the park. Not much greenery around the bustling areas of Shinjuku and Shibuya, but where they were currently, it was nice and peaceful. The neighborhoods were all quiet, being a Sunday, and some kids were playing cheerfully, despite the aggressive cold nipping at their noses.<br/>The dyed brunet huffed out pent up stress, exploding into a rather large cloud of mist in front of him. He rubbed his hands together out of habit for practicing in the cold months, and only then did foreign fingers touch his own.</p><p>“Sorry.” Shouyou sighed, beaming rather wide for someone who’s apologizing. “I forgot how cold it was in th’ mornin’s.”</p><p>“It’s December, too.” Kenma replied, hesitantly accepting the rather toned palm into his own.</p><p>“I said I was sorry!” The early-bird chirped, making the dazed feline snort.</p><p>“I heard you.” The older whispered, gently tucking his hand in place.</p><p>It felt strangely normal. His heart wasn’t pounding with excitement—though anyone could blame it on how it was just barely 7 AM.</p><p>…Not likely. Being around Shouyou was enough to engage a sleepy mind into its full power, even if it ran on less than half of its regular steam.</p><p>So, what was it? Was it the anxiety of the letters that made him less immune to heart-thumping activities and thoughts? Was is the casualness of how his now-partner was acting, as if this was a regular practice day?<br/>He managed to boil all of his relaxation down to relief. Relief that Shouyou’s here, and well, and with him. Relief that he didn’t lose his life that day—before the day even truly started. Relief that his feelings were reciprocated. Relief that—despite his fatal future that lied ahead of him beforehand—he’s not going to be alone. Relief that he’s not fighting by himself the stress and pressure that comes with performing well in school. Relief that he has someone that can ease his anxiety and bad thoughts by just being themselves. Relief that… he can actually be relieved—relaxed and free.<br/>The thought that someone can be as carefree and careless as the sun that sat next to him… it was rather new. Not that Shouyou was a stranger or an enemy to his being, but the concept of being so unbound by the shackles of society and the current standard of education? It wasn’t something that Kenma wanted to try—at least, not on his own.<br/>Kenma let his hair grow to not see as many people around him. To the people that stared, he dyed his hair. He sits quietly during his lunches as if to suddenly disappear from the surroundings he’s in. He barely talks to anyone, but when he does, it’s an adventure all of its own. What to say, what to do…<br/>He now feels like it’s breaking apart… but coming back stronger.</p><p>What was once a wall was now a barrier. What was once his escape is now his comfort. …And there’s a door in the shape of that unblinking sun. There was a key only he had access to.</p><p>Kenma no longer wanted to be invisible—but that want came with limits. Now that he’s out and able to be seen by others, it had risks he had never wanted to take before in his life; but with Shouyou by his side, he made sure that he would attempt to brave the cold, even if by a little.</p><p>It isn’t love just yet, but somehow… he knows it’s getting there.</p><p>…He’s bested Tetsurou at something, and he’s never been prouder.</p><p>“Christmas Eve is in two days.” He lulled, “I probably can’t see you for Christmas.”</p><p>Shouyou gasped. “Does that mean you wanna do somethin’?!”</p><p>Kenma smiled as wide as he could for being tired and… well.. himself.</p><p>“Yeah.”</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Raise the Fireworks. (Epilogue)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>The main three reminisce on the adventure of saving their lost friends...</p><p>But it still leaves a bitter taste.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was summer vacation, long since the two’s first declaration of protection of one another, and the time was ripe to go on a date.<br/>
Kenma was in his third year, and Shouyou was in his second. The destination was far, but their parents trusted the students with one another, seeming as Kenma was a senior, but that hardly mattered, with both being chaotically incapable of staying on trail.</p><p>   The two stayed at Enoshima—an isle popular for being spiritual and holding festivals—until dark, holding hands to make sure no one gets lost. No one seemed to care, with Kenma finally being thankful of the thick crowds.<br/>
Due to the sudden black of the night, it was rather difficult to navigate through the winding roads and countless couples, but the two somehow made it past the crossroad and to a fence that overlooked the sea. Though the white poles that lined the overlook of the shore were bombarded with conversations about betrothed lovers and what they’ll do after the show ends, Kenma made sure that his own partner would focus on the show and himself. Though surrounded by people, he felt as if the day was meant just for them.</p><p>   As music started to blare against the surrounding apartments, Kenma gripped Shouyou’s hand tighter, even if he didn’t feel the chubby hands slip from his own.</p><p>   “What’s wrong?” Shouyou ended up nearly shouting over the bass.</p><p>   “Be sure to stay close to me.” Kenma loudly whispers, following in the younger silently stepping so close that there was no room to breathe. Shouyou’s unoccupied hand held onto Kenma’s sleeve and leaned into it, the familiar feeling of that orange cloud relaxing the senior student, even considering the public space they’ve found themselves in.</p><p>   As the show started, the loud bangs resembled flashes that enemies would track across the sea, but significantly less of an eyesore to look at, according to Kenma, who managed to film it with one hand.</p><p>   The fireworks varied in size and length of tail—ranging from short-lasting blossoms that wilted in the night sky, to seemingly eternal sunflowers that exploded in a myriad of hues. They reminded Kenma of someone close by and attempted to hide his laughter so that it doesn’t become audible in the video. He doesn’t like to hear his own voice in playbacks, but gladly would love to hear his friends’ voices in them. It was calming, for some reason.</p><p>   Though, he much preferred the real thing.</p><p>   As the rainbow lights sped up, the music became increasingly difficult to hear—but the night sky was brighter than it ever was in the mornings. You could see individual clouds and the undersides of their misty wisps, as if being illuminated by lightning in the all-too-familiar summer storms.<br/>
The eruptions grew in volume, causing both Kenma and Shouyou to tighten their grips on one another’s hands with each bang of the gunpowder. As the blazes entered into the last stage, vigorous explosions sped through the late night, with the loudness becoming white noise amongst the final stand of the beautiful exposition. Lights crossed and leaned into one another, fading whilst mixing into a gorgeous display.</p><p>   With a little bit of an extra flash, the extravagant grandstand ended.</p><p>   As the crowd of people ran to bombard the train station, Shouyou ran down the stairs that led to the sand of the shore, tugging Kenma along.</p><p>   “Shouyou,” the senior started, “the station’s the other way…”</p><p>   “Yeah! But you don’t like tight spaces! Let’s wait ’til it calms down, yeah?”</p><p>   The grey of the grimalkin’s sleeves meshed with the orange of the fowl’s, blending into the now-black twilight sky as they sat close to the fluctuating tides.</p><p>   “I didn’t know you noticed.” </p><p>   “Oh, c’mon! I may be dumb, but ‘m not stupid! I know when you’re feelin’ even a little uncomfortable!”</p><p>   “Okay, okay. I’m glad you care.”</p><p>   “Yeah! Sorry for keepin’ y’from home, though.”</p><p>   “It’s fine if you’re with me.”</p><p>   “Yay!”</p><p>   The two sighed simultaneously, beginning to imagine the futures they would’ve had, had they not followed their respective letters.<br/>
Both of them would’ve end up in the grave, it seemed, but it would be nice if they saw one another in a different realm.</p><p>   But it’s certainly better with them both alive—anyone would agree to that.</p><p>   A bit strange that only Kenma had a different future from everyone else… Unless someone was holding that fact in. It would’ve been better if he had assistance in the sudden, one-day note to stop Shouyou from dying—but what’s done is done.</p><p>   “I’m glad y’didn’t die.”</p><p>   “Yeah… You, too. I’ll kill you if you die, so don’t.”</p><p>   “Wh—what?! That doesn’t even make sense!”</p><p>   They laughed.</p><p>   In the end, both Kenma and Shouyou’s deaths have passed, but they’ve decided to keep a close eye on one another, making sure that nothing ever happens.<br/>
They’ve promised to stick by one another, no matter how hard the world tried to pull them apart—whether it be Tetsurou’s sudden and uncharacteristic disappearance from daily texts, then suddenly reappearing as half of the man he was in high school, and Shouyou knowing the entire reason why, or the increased physical and timely distance between the sun and his heart due to work.</p><p>   Despite it all, Shouyou never told Kenma about his sliver of emotion that carried over from the future—for Tetsurou; especially because he’s recently gotten engaged to Daichi. No doubt that the former captain of Nekoma still shared that regret, but it was clear that his love for the former captain of Karasuno overshadowed that past adoration. No one said he had to linger on that bitter taste, and he plans on letting it go when it feels right.<br/>
Besides, they’ve already contacted Koushi to tell the duo if any children had any parental issues that they could take care of. The teacher happily obliged, and made sure to tell them right away if any openings suddenly formed.</p><p>   By the other end of the stars, Tetsurou knew that one sidewalk would have happiness with that attacker from the Japan League. He’d walk against the wooden board with a flag in his hand, supporting his country, as that short, orange-haired flyer would steal the crowd’s attention. </p><p>   After a long battle against the national team for Portugal, the Japan team would have a drink, with Shouyou leaving early, getting dragged home by the mischievous businessman to have some time alone.</p><p>   On the walk from the pub to the station, they’d get caught along a beautiful firework show, and head to the closest high spot to look at it. It would end up with the two of them along a veranda, overlooking the loud building lights and blackened trees that were planted along sidewalks, lit up by the colored missiles in celebration for the coming of summer.</p><p>   Tetsurou held Shouyou close, wrapping an arm around his wide shoulders, seemingly uncaring for the sweat that cooled around his significant other’s back.</p><p>   “Do you think Kenma’s happy up there?” He’d ask, with a little retention in his voice, to which Shouyou would respond with;</p><p>   “Y’know? Maybe.”</p><p>   “Hey… Uh…”</p><p>   “Yeah?”</p><p>   “If Kenma was still alive, would you’ve gotten with him, instead?”</p><p>   “Nah! You know I love you too much, right?”</p><p>   “Pfft, okay, you big dork.”</p><p>   “Hey! You asked!”</p><p>   Little did they know, that was to always be true.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>It's kinda not as detailed and fancy but I wanted to get this out of my head for a little bit.</p><p>Sorry its so hard to read. Tell me and I’ll go back to fix it if any paragraphs look scary! I copy/pasted from my notes on my laptop without doing the “rich text” thing to make it look good so... sorry ‘bout that.</p><p>Thanks for reading this really short story, haha. Don't worry, the Utapri is coming but XDD</p><p>I can't deal with Haikyuu!! ending im so</p><p>Songs to listen to:</p><p>脱法ロック (Law-Evading Rock)</p><p>ロストワンの号哭 (Lost one's Weeping)</p><p>打上花火 (Fireworks)</p><p>Thanks again~!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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